Eventually, I'll be skinny.

i really need to be patient my weight hasnt changed since yesterday, but i want it gone, i want to be thin. i just need to be patient because good things take time.

(Source: just-to-breathe)

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Via Never Good Enough

My entire life I have struggled with my body. In elementary school and middle school, I got teased for being tall. I still remember being called “Ostrich” by two boys in my 7^th grade class, or “Fatty” when I was in 2^nd grade by a guy named Andrew Bauer. That shit sticks with you. I was self conscious, because I thought I was bigger. Looking back on it, I was thin but I was just tall. Yet, I still focused on being skinnier. Back then, I was able to starve myself for 3 to 4 days at a time. I often made myself throw up. In 7^th and 8^th grade. I was a child purposely allowing myself to get dizzy during school. To be honest, I’m not sure how I did it. And I would never go back down that road. I was sad. I couldn’t control the way my family was, so instead I controlled the one thing I knew I could. Over the summer of 2011, I started working really hard for a better body. I went running almost every day, and I could see progress as I ran further each time without being as tired. I became introduced to more vegetables, and had access to all sorts of fruits. Over the last few months, I’ve been happy but I haven’t watched myself like I use to. I got a job at a pizza place, and after working for 5 hours all I want is a pizza. My body is no where near its top shape. And, I’ve discovered this is what 2012 is about. I know more than enough to eat healthy, and have access to a gym. I just have to become committed. I have plans to organize things, and become healthier and more motivated. I won’t starve myself, and I won’t throw up my food. That never works. I plan on making small changes, and working on becoming more dramatic. Overall, I’m giving myself a year to transform and lose 45lbs. I hope to be down to a size 2. I will work. 

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